Words of Wisdom

Youth is wasted on the young.

Sunday 28 December 2008

How To Create A Delinquent

A list of rules for parents wishing to turn their children into juvenile delinquents,
handed out in leaflet form by the Police Department of Houston Texas (allegedly).

1. Begin in infancy to give your child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.

3. Never give him any spiritual guidance. Wait until he's 18 and then let him decide for himself.

4. Avoid the use of the word 'wrong'. It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for trespass/nuisance/vandalism/stealing etc, that the world is against him and he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothes, toys, puzzles, empty booze bottles etc. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing responsibility onto others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on, watch any subject on television, dvd or internet, ensure he cleans his teeth and develops hygiene habits but let his mind feed on garbage.

7. Quarrel frequently in front of your child; this way he will not be too shocked when later on his own social groups break up.

8. Give your child all the pocket money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual and carnal desire is granted. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take his part against neighbours, teachers, policemen and his pals. After all, they are prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into REAL trouble, make excuses for yourself saying,
"I could never do anything with him."

12. Prepare for a life of upset and sadness; you will probably have it.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ouch!

Quite true though....

Anonymous said...

New Cider House Rules?

Every generation promises their kids the World.

Anonymous said...

Had an interesting conversation with my 18-year-old daughter in the supermarket queue yesterday. She saw a Chuppa-Chup (sp?) tree and commented that we had never bought her anything in a supermarket aisle when she was young. I said that was because if we had done it once she might have whinged every time she was in a supermarket queue from then on so that we would keep on buying her something. She said "But I never whinged when I was in a supermarket queue". I said "Exactly - remember that when you are a parent!"

Arizaphale said...

Very good Heather! A woman after my own heart!

natalie said...

AMEN, TEACHER, AMEN! Don't we see that so often in the classroom? Those parents that require something of their children often have fewer problems with their children. As a parent of a toddler, I see the struggle parents face EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is so much easier to give in to the whining and I sometimes do. In face, we're in "de-brat" mode now that the surgery is over and she's more mobile. There have been several "pull the van over immediately and discipline your child" moments. I had to climb in the back of the van with her in the Wal-Mart parking lot one evening last week for a little mommy/daughter moment. She was MUCH better behaved after our little discussion. I was helping her pick up her toys the other day and she said, "No, Mommy. I clean up my toys!" One point for Mommy!!!!

Anonymous said...

don't get me started on the "everyone's a winner schools" though- sometimes it's not just parents with crazy ideas. Oh, and how about "ignore your child when they want your attention, instead buy them lots of junk so you can watch telly and drink beer" "tell them no they cant have something but give it to them anyways"